What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – Stay Humble

Recently I left a job at a great company but with a long daily commute. This is the final entry of a 7-post series on things I learned about leadership on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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I believe I’m a reasonably accomplished driver. It’d be easy to relax and not work at improving my driving skills, based on miles I’ve driven and the success I’ve demonstrated at dodging other drivers’ poor decisions.

Yet I must face the facts. There are still times I’ve started to change lanes unaware that someone was in my blind spot, or turned a corner roughly or braked sooner—or later—than I could have.

If I don’t face those facts, I’ll start thinking I don’t need to get better. Which leads to thinking I can’t get any better. Which tells me that I’m better than anyone else. Then I’m convinced that accidents only happen to other people. Which leads me to believe that accidents can’t happen to me. Then I stop using my skills. Then I get careless. Then I’m a bad driver—who still thinks he’s a good driver.

Scary.

“If I don’t face those facts, I’ll start thinking I don’t need to get better.”

And Your Point Is…?

The only way we can get better is to believe that we can get better.

So What?

I have a favorite leadership development mantra: You can’t get better by continuing to do what you’re already good at. It’s easy to over-leverage what has made us successful, whether that’s experience, personality, intelligence, tenacity … whatever.

“You can’t get better by continuing to do what you’re already good at.”

But to borrow Marshall Goldsmith’s perfectly titled book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, all those success-generating traits have a ceiling, a limit. Overusing them can make us think we’re a good leader, when we’re really just riding the wave of past success.

This creates blind spots, where we miss opportunities to lead more effectively. And it won’t prepare us for the leadership challenges to come.

“Overusing them can make us think we’re a good leader, when we’re really just riding the wave of past success.”

This requires a level of humility, and a dispassionate, objective view of ourselves. All with a sense of self-acceptance (i.e. my value isn’t based on my performance), coupled with a drive to improve (to fulfill our potential).

The Big Picture

It might seem odd to pair personal development with humility, but there’s a very strong correlation. People who aren’t humble aren’t hungry to learn and grow; there’s no incentive to get better. It takes humility to recognize you have untapped potential.

Your Next Step

Get someone who knows you and has your best interests in mind to reveal how you can improve. Do a 360-leadership assessment. Get a coach. But above all: Believe that you can get better.

Then never stop trying.

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What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – You See What You Look For

Recently I left a job at a great company but with a long daily commute. This is the 5th post of an 8-blog series on things I learned about leadership on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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To avoid the bulk of the traffic (and the accompanying delays), I went into work early. Many times this meant driving in the dark, when you can’t see as well. Or see as much. Or as far.

Or even more weirdly, you tend to see only the things you expect to see.

I worked for a logistics company, so it was a fairly common experience to see golf carts driving around the campus. One dark morning after entering the facility, I was surprised by a cart that “suddenly” appeared in front of me. Even though I was undistracted and watching for traffic, and despite the fact that the cart had its headlights on and a flashing orange light on the top, I didn’t see it until it was very close to me.

Reflecting on it later, I realized I didn’t see it because I was looking for cars, not golf carts.

And Your Point Is…?

When you’re driving hard and your perspective gets limited, you tend to see only what you’re looking for.

“I didn’t see it because I was looking for cars, not golf carts”

So What?

As a cyclist I can attest to being on the other side of this phenomena. Sometimes people driving cars simply don’t see bicycles (or motorcycles or pedestrians) because they’re looking for what they expect to see: other cars.

This is a human tendency that influences us at almost every level. It shows up when we keep a pessimistic, glass-half-empty perspective. It happens when we overlook opportunities. It contributes to having a fixed mindset. It reveals itself when we judge prematurely or act on a bias. It shows up when we’re stuck in a limiting habit we don’t even know exists. It happens when we get into conflict with others. It happens when we drive hard for results or achievement.

In other words, it can happen anywhere, anytime.

But it doesn’t have to.

“It can happen anywhere, anytime. But it doesn’t have to”

The Big Picture

It’s human nature: We choose to see what we see. So it’s a discipline to begin looking objectively, rather than selectively. It requires staying in a constant state of curiosity to look beyond what we expect. It’s the curious ones who are usually in a better position to solve problems, innovate, collaborate, excel and influence.

If you’re leading others, it’s all the more vital that you see the obvious things other people can’t—or won’t.

Your Next Step

What is one thing you can do maintain a base level of curiosity?

“If you’re leading others, it’s all the more vital that you see the obvious things other people can’t—or won’t.”

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What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – You Hit What You Aim For

recently left a position with a great company, but with a long daily commute. This is the fourth post of an 8-week series on things about leadership that I learned on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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It’s easy to get bored driving the same road every day. To break the monotony I started attempting to avoid the reflectors when I changed lanes (when there were no other cars around, of course!).

After months of trying I had some occasional successes. But truth be told, I sucked at it—which troubled me because I knew I was a better driver than that.

Then one day I had an epiphany: Instead of aiming to miss the reflectors, I needed to aim for the stripe between them. The difference was instant and amazing.

As soon as I adjusted my aim point, I had almost immediate success. I could predict where my wheels were going. I could anticipate when to initiate the lane change and intentionally drive where I wanted to go. Ultimately, getting really clear on my target allowed me to get better.

And Your Point Is…?

You hit what you aim for.

“Getting really clear on my target allowed me to get better.”

So What?

First (and most obvious), not aiming is the same as aiming at nothing—you’re going to hit something, you just don’t know what it will be. When I first started my game I tried to “feel” my way into the next lane and hope for the best. Didn’t work.

Second, if your aim is off target, that’s what you’ll hit: everything except the target. This was my aha experience with the reflectors: In attempting to miss them, I was actually still aiming for them. The reflectors is what I was concentrating on. In focusing on the challenge, I was blind to seeing the solution.

“Not aiming is the same as aiming at nothing—you’re going to hit something, you just don’t know what it will be.”

The Big Picture

Consider how your aim comes into play when you compare A) aiming for success (the stripe), to B) aiming for avoiding failure (missing the reflectors). Aiming to NOT fail is NOT aiming for success.

“In focusing on the challenge, I was blind to seeing the solution.”

Some simple real world examples might be “I’ll be less critical in my feedback” or “I’ll be more aggressive in producing outcomes.” Typically, any goal stated in such squishy terms is likely not to be met. Not only is the outcome not measurable, the path to achievement is obscure. This is a common concept in managing performance (a la setting SMART goals), but for some reason many people have difficulty applying the concept in managing development—especially their own.

Your Next Step

What’s an area you’d like to improve in that you’ve set goals around not failing? How can you reset them so they’re focused on the target?

“Aiming to NOT fail is NOT aiming for success.”

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What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – Watch Out For People Advancing Their Own Position

I recently left a position with a great company, but with a long daily commute. This is the third of an 8-week blog series on things about leadership that I learned on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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At one point in my commuting history I was averaging close to one major evasive maneuver per week. “Major” meaning that had I not taken significant action I would have been calling my insurance company—if not the ambulance.

Usually it was someone changing lanes (see my last post: Stay Visible). Often it was somebody “shooting the gap” to cross two lanes of traffic (rarely a good idea). More than once I’ve had pickups or service trucks pull alongside me then without signaling move into the “space” between me and the car in front of me—even though they hadn’t yet cleared my front bumper.

Almost always it was someone trying to get ahead of everyone else. Even though traffic was heavy, they felt compelled to zig-and-zag, forcing themselves ahead, expending a lot of effort to get in front of others.

And Your Point Is…?

I get competitiveness and wanting to win, but is getting ahead of the people you’re driving with really worth the potential damage?

“They felt compelled to zig-and-zag, forcing themselves ahead, expending a lot of effort to get in front of others.”

So What?

The marketplace is competitive (duh). Aggressiveness is often (usually?) seen as a strength; it gets you noticed. In particular, I think of business development roles where being a competitor is a desirable trait. But for most other roles, you should reconsider using competitiveness as your primary MO, because it comes with lots of potential—and usually hidden—damage.

You can damage relationships. When you push people aside to get ahead of them, you make it incredibly hard for them to trust you again. You’ll have to put in much more effort to overcome the perception that you’re really only interested in yourself.

“When you push people aside to get ahead of them, you make it incredibly hard for them to trust you again.”

You can damage your opportunity to influence. You’re not building into people; it doesn’t build a mutual purpose, accountability, motivation or camaraderie.

Your competitive approach may bring short term results, but it will eventually boomerang. You’re feeding a cutthroat culture where people become expendable and teamwork is transactional, not relational. And when you most need people to respond to your call to action, they simply won’t.

“When you most need people to respond to your call to action, they simply won’t.”

The Big Picture

When it comes to your leadership behaviors, what goes around comes around. If you honor people and their effort they will respond in kind. If you push them aside in pursuit of your own interests you’ll find yourself very alone.

Your Next Step

How can you be hungry for results but in a way that makes others better (instead of pushes them aside)?

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