What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – Losing Your Cool Can Be Deadly

Recently I left a job at a great company but with a long daily commute. This is the 6th post of an 8-blog series on things I learned about leadership on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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The day before my final commute into the office, an unfortunate incident occurred on the Howard Franklin Bridge over Tampa Bay. The drivers of an SUV and a pickup had a disagreement, and the SUV began tailgating the pickup at high speed. The game was now on.

The pickup changed lanes several times with the SUV in close pursuit. The vehicles clipped, causing the SUV to roll several times, hit the concrete barrier and go into the water. Authorities found the driver’s body the next day, a tragic end to an everyday commute that, by all appearances, was caused by one or both drivers losing their temper.

It was a sobering reminder to avoid getting complacent on my final commute.

And Your Point Is…?

Life’s too short to lose your cool.

So What?

It’s normal to experience frustration when things don’t go as expected. Disagreements, differences of opinion and disappointments with other people cannot be avoided.

But losing our cool can be.

As leaders, it’s fine to be passionate about what we do. In fact, I would argue that some level of leadership passion is necessary to influence people to do the right thing and uphold values and priorities.

But we should steer away from operating by emotion and calling it passion. These are two very different things. Emotional leadership is reactionary and situational, and usually indicates a loss of self-control. It makes us unpredictable, and it destroys trust.

Passionate leadership, on the other hand, is values-based and ethos-driven, so it’s usually predictable. It’s a visible cue that we’re advocating for something important.

“…some level of leadership passion is necessary…”

I’m not suggesting that leaders should be uber-stoic and avoid any displays of emotion. After all, we are emotional beings; it’s only natural that we display appropriate levels of emotion (sadness, disappointment, joy, compassion, etc.).

The key is to not let emotions drive our leadership behavior, and instead let leadership drive our emotional behavior.

“Emotional leadership is reactionary and situational, and usually indicates a loss of self-control.”

The Big Picture

Emotional leadership means being driven by emotion. It makes leadership behaviors volatile and situational. Instead of influencing your environment, your environment is influencing you.

Emotion comes out of the blue and is unpredictable. Passion comes from the gut and doesn’t often change.

Your Next Step

Avoiding emotional leadership is self-leadership. We must be able to lead ourselves before we can expect to effectively lead others.

“Passion comes from the gut and doesn’t often change”

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What Commuting Taught Me About Leadership – You See What You Look For

Recently I left a job at a great company but with a long daily commute. This is the 5th post of an 8-blog series on things I learned about leadership on those long and tedious hours on the road.
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To avoid the bulk of the traffic (and the accompanying delays), I went into work early. Many times this meant driving in the dark, when you can’t see as well. Or see as much. Or as far.

Or even more weirdly, you tend to see only the things you expect to see.

I worked for a logistics company, so it was a fairly common experience to see golf carts driving around the campus. One dark morning after entering the facility, I was surprised by a cart that “suddenly” appeared in front of me. Even though I was undistracted and watching for traffic, and despite the fact that the cart had its headlights on and a flashing orange light on the top, I didn’t see it until it was very close to me.

Reflecting on it later, I realized I didn’t see it because I was looking for cars, not golf carts.

And Your Point Is…?

When you’re driving hard and your perspective gets limited, you tend to see only what you’re looking for.

“I didn’t see it because I was looking for cars, not golf carts”

So What?

As a cyclist I can attest to being on the other side of this phenomena. Sometimes people driving cars simply don’t see bicycles (or motorcycles or pedestrians) because they’re looking for what they expect to see: other cars.

This is a human tendency that influences us at almost every level. It shows up when we keep a pessimistic, glass-half-empty perspective. It happens when we overlook opportunities. It contributes to having a fixed mindset. It reveals itself when we judge prematurely or act on a bias. It shows up when we’re stuck in a limiting habit we don’t even know exists. It happens when we get into conflict with others. It happens when we drive hard for results or achievement.

In other words, it can happen anywhere, anytime.

But it doesn’t have to.

“It can happen anywhere, anytime. But it doesn’t have to”

The Big Picture

It’s human nature: We choose to see what we see. So it’s a discipline to begin looking objectively, rather than selectively. It requires staying in a constant state of curiosity to look beyond what we expect. It’s the curious ones who are usually in a better position to solve problems, innovate, collaborate, excel and influence.

If you’re leading others, it’s all the more vital that you see the obvious things other people can’t—or won’t.

Your Next Step

What is one thing you can do maintain a base level of curiosity?

“If you’re leading others, it’s all the more vital that you see the obvious things other people can’t—or won’t.”

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